Wise words: ‘It is cheaper to forgive than resent'

Theologically speaking, the word “forgive” means to wipe the slate clean, to pardon or to cancel a debt. A less technical, but I think very accurate definition for forgiveness, is to be able to think and act as if the offence never happened; in effect, the offence is not only forgiven, but forgotten.

God is good at forgiveness! The Bible teaches that when God forgives sins, He removes them as far as the East is from the West (Psalm 103:12), places them behind His back (Isaiah 38:17), blots them out (Isaiah 43:25), throws them into the deepest sea (Micah 7:19), and has forgotten them (Jeremiah 31:34; Hebrews 8:12).

We, on the other hand, aren’t very good at forgiveness.

It’s human nature to hang onto things and there are people who’ve nursed alleged wrongs for years ... even decades.

This unwillingness to “let go” is unhealthy and taxing, as the following story illustrates.

Two men travelling together noticed an older woman at the edge of a river. She was concerned because there was no bridge and couldn’t cross without assistance. The first man said, “We’ll carry you across.”

She gratefully accepted and the men carried her safely over the river and set her down. The men went one way and she the other.

After walking two miles, the second man began to complain. “Look! My clothes are filthy from carrying that woman and my back hurts from lifting her. I’m getting stiff.” The first man smiled and nodded.

Three miles up the road, the second man still complaining said, “My back hurts so badly from carrying that silly woman that I can’t carry on.”

The first man looked down at his friend, now lying on the ground moaning and asked him, “Do you know why I’m not complaining? Your back hurts so badly because you are still carrying the woman. I set her down five miles ago.”

Such is the case for those who will not let go of past hurts and learn how to forgive.

Like that second man, we hold the pain of the past and it produces anguish over and over again because we continue to carry the load long after it is actually gone.

The biblical instructions, motivation and benefits of forgiveness are manifold. We forgive because we have been forgiven by God (Ephesians 4:32). We forgive in obedience to God (Matthew 6:14-15; Romans 12:18).

We forgive to prevent tragedy in our lives (Genesis 4: 1-8). And finally, we forgive to avoid bitterness and defilement (Hebrews 12:14-15).

“It is cheaper to forgive than resent. It saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred and the waste of souls.” — Hannah More

Pastor Ross Helgeton is the senior pastor at Erskine Evangelical Free Church.